WALT use adjectives and paragraphs.
I am sleeping I have been asleep for 65 years. I look out my window and I see my planet. It looks beautiful in the distance.
I am sleeping I have been asleep for 65 years. I look out my window and I see my planet. It looks beautiful in the distance.
I am feeling happy because I can’t wait to see my parents and my brothers and sisters. I look out my window and I can see the Milky Way the stars are different colours and they make me feel happy and I don't feel lonely. I feel happy that I am getting closer to my family,
I suddenly drift off to sleep and I feel the rocket ship shaking side to side. I suddenly think to myself am I about to land?
I finally land, I get out of my rocket ship I think to myself where is my family? Where is everybody? What has happened to my home it is destroyed. There are fires everywhere,the building are crashed down in front of me I feel sad because I don't know what to do now because my family are not with me.
The End
Awesome story kaydin! you have set a painting in my head, your story has alot of punctuation in the cerect spot. What you can do next time is you could describe the setting a little bit better and what is the planet. And are your brouthers and sisters Matariki.
ReplyDeleteNice writing Kaydin! Very impressed to see all the correct punctuation in your writing, well done. I wonder if your main character will ever find his family?
ReplyDeleteI have seen the video of you story you have made. It very clear of what the story should be about. keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete